It’s a common practise to purchase gifts for a couple who are to become newlyweds. Getting something you think will help them in married life isn’t unusual, neither is something sentimental that might speak to more than what money can buy. Katy and Brandon had been married for nearly a decade and still had yet to open one last wedding present. The gift came in a white box that they’d left sitting atop a shelf in their closet. The bridge’s great aunt, Aunt Alice, had gifted them it, and scribbled across an envelope attached to the package were the words: “Do not open until first disagreement” …
When Aunt Alice first handed the Michigan couple the package, they agreed they would honor her wishes and abstain from opening it. Of course, they had squabbles and the occasional fallout over the years, as all couples do, but they continually refused to open the box for a different reason than she had intended. In a post written by Katy, she explained their reason behind keeping the box sealed: “There had obviously been plenty of disagreements, arguments and slammed doors throughout our 9 years. There were even a couple of instances where we both considered giving up… but we never opened the box. “I honestly think that we both avoided turning to the box, because it would have symbolized our failure. To us, it would have meant that we didn’t have what it takes to make our marriage work – and we’re both too stubborn and determined for that. So, it forced us to reassess situations. Was it really time to open the box? What if this isn’t our worst fight? What if there’s a worse one ahead of us and we don’t have our box?!? As my Great Uncle Bill would say, ‘Nothing is ever so bad that it couldn’t get worse.’”
Then, one night, it all changed. Katy and Brandon had put their two young children to bed and were enjoying a glass of wine. A conversation was started regarding an upcoming wedding they were attending, where they had met and attended college. In the midst of the excited discussion, they began to bounce ideas as to what they might get for the new couple in terms of a gift. It was then that Katy thought back to their own wedding day, and which gift had left a lasting impression. There was also a crystal flower vase, two crystal wine glasses, bath soap, lotion, and bubbles, all designed to help Katy and Brandon overcome any argument or trouble they might have faced. It wasn’t the material objects that meant as much to Kathy, however, as the powerful message imbued within the gesture of giving them. “All along, we assumed that the contents of that box held the key to saving a marriage – an age-old trick – unbeknownst to us rookies,” Katy explained. “After all, my Great Aunt and Uncle had been married for nearly half a century. So, we thought the box would save ‘us’ – and in a way it did.”
With the box an ever-present, tantalising option, it served to teach the couple patience, understanding and compromise when they might have simply turned to it at the first opportunity. There was also a crystal flower vase, two crystal wine glasses, bath soap, lotion, and bubbles, all designed to help Katy and Brandon overcome any argument or trouble they might have faced. It wasn’t the material objects that meant as much to Katy, however, as the powerful message imbued within the gesture of giving them. “All along, we assumed that the contents of that box held the key to saving a marriage – an age-old trick – unbeknownst to us rookies,” Katy explained. “After all, my Great Aunt and Uncle had been married for nearly half a century. So, we thought the box would save ‘us’ – and in a way it did.” With the box an ever-present, tantalising option, it served to teach the couple patience, understanding and compromise when they might have simply turned to it at the first opportunity. In the end, they didn’t have to open the box when they were struggling, but rather when their marriage was strong.
